THE l.B.E. Lowdown for AEW dynamite April the 24th, the year of our lord 2024
By Scott Keith Low Wang Hung
There’s basically nothing announced for this show so I guess we’re flying by the seat of our pants tonight.
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There’s basically nothing announced for this show so I guess we’re flying by the seat of our pants tonight.
Live from Jacksonville, FL
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone, Excalibur & Taz
The Elite show up to start, complete with newest member Jack Perry.
The audio on this show sounds like its underwater. That would make sense given the lackluster ratings lately. #HOWBOUTIT
Orange Cassidy joins us, but Trent attacks him on the way out and demands Chuck Taylor choose a side in the Best Friends Civil War. Trent complains that they brought Orange to AEW as their “mascot” but ended up his lackies, because Orange is a narcissistic prick. So Trent asks for one more hug, but Chuck chooses Team Orange and challenges Trent to a parking lot brawl because he can’t get cleared in the ring.
Meanwhile, Jon Moxley doesn’t play golf and marching through hell is the best way for him to feel alive.
Swerve Stricklandv. Kyle Fletcher
They trade hammerlocks to start and Swerve takes him down with a slick cradle for two and goes for a short arm scissors, but they go to a stalemate. Swerve puts him down with the back elbow, but Kyle sends him to the floor and puts him on the floor with a leg lariat. Swerve comes back with a boot out there and we take a break. Back with Swerve hitting a backbreaker and working the back, but Kyle comes back with superkicks and a Michinoku Driver for a double down. Meanwhile, we get an inset of the Elite going to harass Tony Khan in his office, and Swerve hits a neckbreaker on the apron and follows with a Swerve Stomp out there, hurting his own ankle in the process. Back in the ring, Fletcher goes right for an anklelock and then turns it into a heel hook, but Swerve makes the ropes. They trade shots and Swerve rolls him into a suplex and then flips into the Flatliner and follows with a brainbuster. That gets two. They reverse tombstone attempts and Fletcher wins that battle, but it only gets two. So Callis yells “Melbourne” from the announce desk while holding up four fingers, but Fletcher decides to do his own thing and try for a superplex instead of using a table. Callis disgusted by this free thought, and Swerve reverses the superplex attempt into a Swerve Stomp for two. House Call Kick finishes at 14:44. Good start to the title reign. ***1/2
Meanwhile, Thunder Rosa and Deonna Purrazzo have had about enough of each other.
Mina Shirakawa v. Anna Jay
Anna slugs her down, but misses a running knee and Mina dropkicks her while the announcers speculate on the nature of the relationship between Mina and Mariah May. Well you gotta give the people what they want. Mina with a legsweep and she goes to work on the leg and stops to dance before getting a figure-four. Anna makes the ropes and hits a neckbreaker out on the apron, which gets two as we take a break. Back with Mina chopping Anna down and following with a knee strike off the top for two. Anna with a Gory Bomb for two, but Mina takes out the knee again and goes to the figure-four, forcing Anna to make the ropes again. Mina goes up with a missile dropkick and follows with an enzuigiri for two. Anna counters a suplex into the choke, but Mina counters that into a wacky cradle and gets the pin at 8:37. Mina has got some star presence out there. *** Mariah wants more champagne to celebrate, but Anna is a sore loser and attacks, until Toni Storm makes an unlikely save as a babyface and Mariah melts in her arms. And then Serena Deeb comes out and does a promo about presumably wanting the title, but the audio is shit tonight so I can’t say for sure.
Willow Nightingale joins us for the championship celebration, complete with Caprice Coleman rapping over her music on commentary. And as usual, Mercedes Mone interrupts and Willow has had enough and asks if Mercedes blames her for the injury last year so they can finally have it out. And Mercedes denies but it sure seems like she does blame Willow, and they get into a brawl before it’s broken up.
Meanwhile, Alex Marvez tries to get the scoop on Jack Perry, but no one’s talking. We only know Perry will be in the ring later tonight to meet with Tony Khan.
Casino Gauntlet match:
First pinfall or submission wins, and someone new enters every 2:00. We start with Jay White against Dante Martin, and Dante chases him to the floor and tries a dive, but he misses and Jay beats on him with chops. Penta is the next man at 2:00 and hits White with a bodypress on the way in, and a sling blade follows. We take a break and return with Kyle O’Reilly, complete with a sharp new haircut, and he runs wild on everyone and snaps some arms. He takes White down with an anklelock and Jay makes the ropes, but Will Ospreay joins the match and the crowd loses their mind. He hits Dante and Penta with the backflip kick and then freaks out Jay White, but Jay turns on him after teasing a reunion and beats on Will with chops. Spanish Fly on Dante gets two, but Lance Archer is next into the match to break that up. Archer chokeslams Dante onto White, but O’Reilly tries a guillotine and Lance tosses him like a ragdoll, and then throws Ospreay onto the pile outside as we take another break. Back with Komander entering the match, and he manages to put Archer through a table with a rana off the apron. Back in the ring, he does a crazy spinning DDT on Ospreay for two, but White hits Komander with a uranage for two. Jay Lethal is next and he runs wild and hits the Lethal Injection on Penta, but White catches Lethal with a sleeper suplex. Dante breaks up the Blade Runner and KOR kicks him out of the ring and then does a crazy reversal sequence with Ospreay that ends with a back elbow from Will that gets two. Ospreay calls for the Tiger Driver but he’s CONFLICTED after hurting Danielson and he holds up long enough for Komander to break that up. But then Ospreay hits Komander with the Hidden Blade and pins him to win the match at 18:43, earning an International title shot at Roderick Strong. What a fun match this was! Hopefully they bring it back again. And also find someone else in the company other than Komander that can do a job. ****
Chris Jericho joins us…again…with his new Learning Tree gimmick. He’s renaming it the For The World title because he’s doing all this FOR US, apparently at the request of Terry Funk. So he talks about all the people getting sucked into the “Jericho Vortex” and coming out the other side as bigger stars, which brings out Big Bill, who needs the guidance of the Learning Tree. Bill stresses again that Jericho takes the lowest talent and elevates them to the top as they keep hammering that joke into the ground, and Jericho is going to keep his eye on Bill. I guess this is supposed to deliberately be a death segment but LORD HELP ME with this stuff.
Meanwhile, Will Ospreay tells Don Callis that he’s retiring the Tiger Driver after Dynasty, but Don feels like if Roderick gets another broken neck, then so be it. Kyle Fletcher offers his opinion and Don snaps “You’re the last one to talk about winning matches tonight!” in a spectacular burn, and then he leaves to go win a title with Powerhouse Hobbs.
IWGP World title: Jon Moxley v. Powerhouse Hobbs
They trade shots in the corner and Hobbs tries a slam, but Moxley reverses to a german suplex and Hobbs lands on his feet and tosses Moxley to the apron. They brawl on the floor and Mox boots him into the crowd for some aimless brawling and then back into the ring, where Hobbs beats on Moxley as we take a break. Back with Hobbs hugging him, but Moxley breaks free and Hobbs blocks a cutter. Back to the floor again as Mox grazes him with a dive and it’s back in the ring for a pummeling in the corner. Paradigm Shift gets two and he goes to the choke to finish at 11:00. Kind of a weirdly flat and heatless match. No idea what happened there but they just weren’t on the same page at all and most of it felt like walking around the crowd. ** And then Takeshita, complete with impressively puffy pants, comes out to issue the next challenge to Moxley.
Meanwhile, Shibata challenges Chris Jericho for the FTW title next week in Winnipeg using his phone gimmick.
Jack Perry joins us and the crowd immediately chants “Cry Me a River” for him. Jack calls out Tony Khan and asks Tony to shake his hand and reinstate him once and for all. Tony is of course happy to do that, and Jack has a hilariously evil look on his face before turning on Tony and laying him out. So this brings out the Bucks and Okada to talk some sense into Jack, but then they’re like “The hell with it” and hit Tony with a TK Driver instead. Tony was probably happy to take bumps for the first time but I don’t really think they should have gone there with the character. And then all the babyface wrestlers, including a rare appearance from Shad Khan himself, come out to check on TK to end the show.
Well that was certainly an eventful night. This certainly felt much more chaotic than the somewhat formulaic episodes we’ve been getting as of late, and I thought that the Casino Gauntlet was a great idea. The title match was a huge disappointment, though, and enough with Chris Jericho. So hit and miss this week.